It's strange to think about. Coming home at the time (yesterday in London) felt more like "leaving London" rather than "coming home," if that makes sense. It felt much less like "returning to Columbus" than "leaving for Columbus." And, you know, it hit me when I was leaving: I'll really miss London. No matter how much I griped about the things that were weird about it to almost anyone who'd listen, London did become, dare I say it...home. London actually became home for me. Not that I ever considered my dorm to be "home" in the sense that I consider the home where I grew up (and am sitting right now, actually) to be my real "home," but in the sense that the city was, indeed, a part of me and that I was, in fact, a part of it.
Did I get to do everything I wanted to? Hah, no. I really wanted to go to Wales, to more countries in Europe (i.e. Belgium, Italy [DAMN YOU, VOLCANO!!!!!!], Germany, Spain), but I consider my time there this time around to be as complete as it gets. For the hell of it, let's look at the list of "stuff I wanted to get done when I was here" and see how I did:
1. Adopt a fully functioning British accent.
2. Be able to find my way around London.
3. Go to a bunch of shows because every awesome band has some sort of stop in London (like...three straight nights of Pavement for me in May)
4. Immerse myself in the culture.
5. Pick a soccer team.
6. Have the time of my life.
7. And, uh, I guess I should probably pass my classes...right?
The results:
1. Nope. I think my British accent might be worse now.
2. Done. It's actually not that hard.
3. Sort of. I added a night of Pavement (so four straight nights) and went to Passion Pit at the HMV Forum. Not the best record here but I wouldn't consider it too shabby.
4. Sort of. London's a bit too multicultural nowadays to have a 100% "British" culture, but what was there, I got into. So I might mark this off.
5. Oh, the pains of being an Arsenal fan.
6. To say the least.
7. I think I passed my classes. I won't know until July-August and I won't worry about it until then.
Also, I apparently made a "London, you better do this for me" list:
1. Be awesome.
2. Don't sic your soccer hooligans on me for not having chosen a football club yet. I will also be entertaining offers regarding the football club I should be supporting.
3. Give me awesome concerts.
4. Give me awesome beer.
5. Give me a good crop of London friends, both those studying abroad too and locals.
How it did:
1. Yep.
2. Yep. As I said earlier, I chose Arsenal.
3. For real.
4. Yes. The closer you get to Dublin, the better the Guinness gets...I am not lying. So getting pretty close made the beer more awesome.
5. Definitely. I'll miss all of them and I better see a few of them in the summer.
So there. London did pretty well with both "barometers" - though I'm unsure as to whether or not they can be considered as rigorous or even robust. But that's not really the issue. My dad raised the question as to whether or not the trip was worth it to me. A thousand times over. OK, so the bed they gave me in the dorm was a piece of shit. OK, London was a bit weird at times, but if you put me right back in time to last fall when I was considering it with full knowledge of what it'd be like, I'd make the same decision. I wouldn't do it again starting right now, obviously, but it was really worth it as it is.
I really can't be displeased. And it's not even that I, like, enjoyed school (who enjoys school anyways?). It was everything else. As I told my dad when I pitched the idea of coming abroad to him, I told him that the steep cost wasn't strictly implying that I was paying that money solely to be at Unversity College London. The money was also to be granted access to London and to be able to be part of it. Granted, the niche I carved out for myself was mostly with other American ex-pat students also looking towards the time we all headed back to the States, but it was comfortable.
And that's probably what I'll miss the most. Finally, at the end, I was grounded into London in some way and I was finally able to start enjoying it the way London was likely supposed to be enjoyed to begin with. I made a great group of friends, and it was sad to see everyone heading back to their own towns and cities in the United States. But, you know, just because we all left London doesn't necessitate an end to those friendships. So, there's no real downside to all this, when you think about it.
My friends back home, here? Yeah, I'm excited to see them again. It's felt odd being away for so long, because in some ways, even if you talk, you can't hang out, really. But that all changes because I'm back now, and I'll see the lot of them now. It'll be a great feeling to see all the close friends I have here once again. Maybe we'll go to Thurman's and enjoy real burgers (sorry, London, that's one thing you are vastly inferior to the United States in), hang out, and all that jazz.
Will I miss London (or, rather, am I missing London)? God, yes. I miss it right now. But while I was sitting in the airport in London waiting to see what gate I was at (and seeing a close friend off whose plane left a bit before mine), I realized that yeah, my time was winding down. It was time to come home, and now I'm home.
NP: The Kinks - Lola versus Powerman and the Moneygoround, Part One
As I was sitting there in the airport, I put on this record and the song "Strangers" hit me like a ton of bricks, cut me like a thousand knives, riddled me with a million bullets. It perfectly summarized leaving London, leaving the world I'd somehow (against all odds, likely) carved out for myself there behind...
"Where are you going I don't mind
I've killed my world and I've killed my time
So where do I go what do I see
I see many people coming after me
So where are you going to I don't mind
If I live too long I'm afraid I'll die
So I will follow you wherever you go
If your offered hand is still open to me
Strangers on this road we are on
We are not two we are one
So you've been where I've just come
From the land that brings losers on
So we will share this road we walk
And mind our mouths and beware our talk
'Till peace we find tell you what I'll do
All the things I own I will share with you
If I feel tomorrow like I feel today
We'll take what we want and give the rest away
Strangers on this road we are on
We are not two we are one
Holy man and holy priest
This love of life makes me weak at my knees
And when we get there make your play
'Cos soon I feel you're gonna carry us away
In a promised lie you made us believe
For many men there is so much grief
And my mind is proud but it aches with rage
And if I live too long I'm afraid I'll die
Strangers on this road we are on
We are not two we are one
Strangers on this road we are on
We are not two we are one"
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